9:05 PM
Have you ever felt uneasy..
After someone told you an incident..
which happened to them..
That story actually instilled fear into you..
Making you worry and resulting in you thinking very far..
though it may or may not happen to you?
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It did for me..
A friend of mine told me about a tiff he had with his gf..
One major quarrel and they nearly permanently broke off after a 4 years relationship..
He told me what had happened..
He admitted that he too was at fault..
But his gf also was at fault too..
Giving-in to him was like 2nd nature during their relationship..
It was only when he could not tolerate giving-in too much that he blew his top..
He told me that he's given everything he can ever give into the relationship..
Hoping for the best..
But it always turn out invain..
I know him well..
He's someone very mature in thoughts..
Maybe alittle career-minded..
He also told me that if ever break with his gf again..
He would not want to find one ever again..
He said it's mentally and physically tiring..
-
Whatever that he said..
Though has no bad intentions towards me..
Simply affects me..
I'm overly thinking whether she will choose not to walk the path with me..
in other words.. she chooses to leave me..
I'm clear about myself..
I'm really seriously in love with =))..
I've never loved someone so much before..
I'm really taking my relationship very seriously..
I'm extremely sensitive towards her..
Constantly thinking about her
Thinking if she's safe..
If she's hungry..
If she's feeling ok..
How's she doing..
Wondering am I overdoing it.,
I've given everything I can ever give..
though sometimes it feels it's not enough..
though it sometimes has taken a toll on me mentally and physically..
though sometimes i feel very low when her words puts me down..
or sometimes when it seems like she prefers talking to others compared to me..
It all doesn't matter..
I just wanna do something for her..
I just wanna know she's fine..
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I believe it's my history and past experiences that made me what I am now..
When I was young, I wasn't as lucky as most children..
I did not have the freedom most kids have..
I was refrained to buy my favorite toy, food or any other thing..
subsequently I felt very unhappy and have this very uneasy feeling..
I am very sure that's why now i'm so protective and sensitive over what she wants..
I do not want her to feel the way I felt..
Cause it felt terrible..
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Was at the airport a few hours ago..
Fetch my dad who came back from Vietnam for a business trip..
The last few trips to the airport wasn't the same as the previous hundred ones before..
This few ones gave me a different feeling..
=)) is going to Korea for 10days maybe more..
The first time she's going overseas since we started our relationship 4.5months ago..
While waiting for my dad..
I was thinking of will she come back safely..
though it's a plane, it's still just metal and plastic, it's never 100% safe to fly..
A pilot once told me:
"Same plane, same joystick, same crew, same runway. But every departure is a new one"
It's the first trip she's gg overseas..
Absence makes the heart goes stronger..
Only 2days and i feel very moody without her..
how about 10days..
And the subsequent trips she goes overseas?
For quite some time..
I've been wondering why my mum cries when my dad goes overseas..
Today I found the answer myself..
I found the answer by a tear drop..
Alike my mum, I really love =)) alot..
All I want is just to see her come back home safely..
Regardless if she's coming back with a change of heart..
Or some news that is unfavorable to me..
I just wnat her to come back safely..
It's only the start of June..
2 more months before she flies..
And I'm thinking too much..
I'm just ready to let everything go just for you..
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Now it's 11.07pm..
I'm very worried..
Where is she..
What is she doing?
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*miss-ed *want-ed *love-ed *uncondtion-al *worri-ed
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O_X =))
O_X =))
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