Friday night..
A night I always look forward to..
A night which all worries..
and misunderstandings are forgotten..
A movie..
A meal at NYDC..
Friday was like a compulsory day out for both of us..
-
But tonight..
It's different..
After a hot tiring day..
Anyone would want..
to be able to go out with their love ones..
to be able to cuddle with them..
or get a good comfortable massage..
or even a simple meal..
to end the day with high spirits..
Not for today..
I feel alone..
alone in the world..
I feel I've been taken for granted..
My care..
my kindness..
my understanding..
my love..
taken for granted..
Now at 2333..
She's not yet replied my sms..
She was last heard in a pub with her friends..
who dragged her there..
What friends drags their friends to places they..
knew they wouldn't want to go..
1 and a half hours earlier..
she said she would be leaving soon..
as she don't like the place nor the drinks..
And both of us know..
She can't hold alcohol well..
Everyone has friends..
these are humans you get alone with..
Other then your family and relatives..
people you go out and chill out with..
some are good some are bad..
It's good to have friends..
I have no lightest intention to stop her from having friends..
Just that maybe I'm overly protective..
Which I guess why my parents also worries about me..
1 and a half hours later..
I hear nothing from her..
If you are in my position..
How would you feel..
I AM SO FARKING WORRIED..
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I shout at my mum, sis and maid..
at the slightest irritation I encounter..
sorry..
I'm just not in the mood..
I've always thought for her..
and about her..
Everyday without fail..
I will think..
how is she..
has she eaten..
is she hungry..
is she sick..
is she safe..
does she need anything..
what should i buy for her..
where should we go later..
what will she like..
what surprises would I give her..
when would be a good time to meet her..
how to make her feel comfortable..
what... where... how... when...
I've always thought about her..
never once put myself before her..
Many a times..
I feel I have only a friend..
yes.. 'a' friend.. 1 friend..
which is also my girlfriend..
the rest seemed like a "Hi-Bye" friend..
you see them - Hi..
and after that before you part - Bye..
and the cycle goes on and on..
haiz..
What am I to everyone out there..
I really wanna know..
a son? a friend? a loved one? an enemy?
a special someone? someone useful to your schemes?
or?
-
Sighing has been 2nd nature to me today..
Sitting at Pasir Ris with all these random thoughts..
flowing through the empty head..
relishing past memories both pleasant and not..
I really feel like jumping into the ocean..
and drown myself..
But there's a wall that stopped me..
A wall built by promises made..
promises not yet broken..
nor fulfilled..
-
Bottomline..
I miss her..
I'm farking worried..
And a tear just fell..
-
Goodnight world..
Goodnight dear..
wherever you are..
iLOVEyou-
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